When The Smoke Clears
by jonesyc
Summary: Derek/Penelope. Not exactly canon, but not really AU. Enjoy! Derek and Penelope are constantly finding themselves at odd. have they reached the end of their friendship, or is something else going on? When you're always in battle... What's going to be left when the smoke clears?
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own any part of the Criminal Minds series. Just love these characters, and the show. And... I need a beta. So, get in touch with me.**

"I love you.." Penelope said quietly, directing the statement at the handsome man kneeling a few feet away from her. It was cowardly, really, to make such an admission when the mellow jazz playing over the speakers was sure to drown out her words. And besides that, they had exchanged that very same sentiment so often, as friends, that surely he would think her words were platonic, instead of the heartfelt revelation they truly were.

The small party, a barbecue with their coworkers and friends, the last one of the summer, had been over for hours. The other guests were all long gone, but they had left Derek's house a mess, which Penelope had offered to stay behind and help with. They had divided up the work, and after Penelope finished her list, she'd found herself standing on the patio, watching Derek as he cleaned the grill. He was shirtless, his caramel skin dripping with sweat as he worked. Penelope looked on as the tiny droplets made their way along the sculpted ridges of his muscular body. She'd wondered how it would feel to be underneath him in that moment, their lovemaking causing him to sweat, instead of the summer heat. And then the words had escaped her lips before she really even had time to think them.

"You say something baby girl?" He asked, looking up at her with a smile.

"Huh?" She replied, startled. "No, not really. Nothing important, hot stuff."

"I see you've already knocked out your half of the list. Thank you for staying to help." He said, flashing his perfect smile, wiping his hands on his basketball shorts as he stood up.

"You are incredibly welcome!" Penelope said cheerfully. "I'm always glad to help a bestie in a bind."

"I hope you know I appreciate you, sweet girl." Derek said, standing so close to Penelope that she could smell the lingering scent of charcoal and lighter fluid on his skin. Her breath caught in her chest as he pulled her into a hug, squeezing her gently against his body. "You know I was expecting Jamie to be here, to help, when I first planned this." He said softly, speaking into her hair. He was referring to his ex girlfriend. Derek had really, really liked her. Loved her. He had even confided to Penelope that he had begun to look at engagement rings. He'd even wanted her, Penelope, to help him choose one, an idea that had sent a violent wave of nausea surging through her stomach. Why would she want to choose a ring for him to give someone else, when it rightfully belonged to her? She would have talked Derek into the most hideous ring she could find. Penelope had drowned her feelings in liquor that night, only to find out the very next day that Jamie had broken up with him. She couldn't handle him being constantly gone, always in danger, and it had absolutely broken his heart. He had been a mess for weeks, but with a nearly constant barrage of her own special sunshine, Penelope had been able to bring him out of that darkness.

"You've got me though, handsome, and really, does anything else matter?" She joked, hoping to keep the mood light. The last thing she wanted was Derek feeling down about Jamie after such a good day.

"I don't really think it does." Derek played along, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

"Now that we got that settled, can you let me go? You're getting sweat, and grill gunk all over my dress!" She said, feigning disgust as she pushed him away, relishing the feeling of his smooth, slightly damp skin against her hands.

"What dress?" He teased."Are you talking about this itty bitty napkin you have on?" He asked, referring to her light sundress. His assessment of the dress wasn't completely inaccurate, as it WAS rather short, but not distastefully so. It complimented her new, leaner figure extremely well, and Penelope was not at all ashamed to flaunt it.

After her latest, and final breakup with Kevin, she had gone on a major self improvement kick. She had already been a very organized person, she had incredible friends, and she was excellent at her job, so her only room for improvement had been her health, so she has gone into it full force. She had no desire to be skinny, so she took care not to lose too much weight, but she had to admit that her newly flattened tummy and toned, shapely legs were quite appealing. Paired with her ample breasts, curved hips and her personal favorite new asset-her butt, Penelope's body was honestly banging, and she knew it. Her newfound confidence(even if she played it up a bit more than she actually felt it) and physique, were attracting more male attention than she was used to. While she enjoyed it, she was certainly wary of the men who had known her for years, but were only interested in her now.

"You know you like it!" She flirted playfully, swaying her hips along with the jazz still playing in the background. She danced a little two step around her handsome friend, purposely bumping him, egging him on. "Damn right!" He said, grabbing her waist to pull her close to him again, joining her dancing. They moved together to the mellow notes of the saxophone, both laughing at their impromptu performance. Even after the song had ended, they remained close, neither one of them speaking. Penelope sensed that even though he was trying to be his usual, playful self, something was bothering Derek. Looking up, she caught his gaze. She was surprised to find that she was unable to read his expression. For her, Derek was usually an open book.

"What's wrong Hot Stuff?" She asked, concerned.

"It's nothing, P." He replied, unconvincingly. He must have known Penelope wouldn't let it go, so he immediately recanted that answer. "Well, nothing important, that is."

"I somehow doubt it's not important, when it's obviously got you out of sorts. What is it? You know you can tell me anything, right?" She assured him.

"Yeah, I know... It's just... I'm really missing Jamie right now, you know?" He said, finally releasing Penelope from his embrace. "Ugh, anything but that." She thought to herself, forcing her expression to remain neutral as he explained. "This party, it's something I planned with her. Her friends, her people, they were supposed to be here too. I was gonna propose to her at this party." He revealed, taking a seat in one the vacant patio chairs. Penelope felt a familiar wave of nausea as his words really registered with her. She wondered how she would have felt watching him ask Jamie to be his wife. Would the wound still be fresh? Or would she have had time to steel her heart, and put on a happy front? She managed to let out a small "Oh." In response as she took a seat herself, eager to be off of her suddenly weak legs. "It's a little hard, you know? Doing this without her, when it was supposed to be all about being WITH her."

"Yeah, I get it," Penelope responded, clearing her throat. "It's really hard to move past it, after a bad break up. It takes a while sometimes, and it's only been a few months for you, D."

"I understand that, but it still feels so fresh. I keep wondering if I should have fought harder, if I should have just still proposed. Maybe that would have changed her mind..."

"NO." Penelope said, a bit more forcefully than she'd intended. "You're amazing Derek," she continued, softening her approach. "And she broke up with you. Because you travel a lot, and save people's lives. And really, Derek, you know there were other problems in the relationship, not just the stuff she put off as being your fault. So you know what? Her loss. The woman for you is out there, and Jamie NOT it. "

"But what if she was, and I fucked up, P? I'm 40 years old... I'm ready to get married, start a family, and I can't keep putting that off." He said with a heavy sigh, reclining back in his chair. "I don't have time to get another relationship to that point, P."

Penelope rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't have to start over if you would look right in front of you." She thought to herself.

"So, what you're gonna call her, beg her to come back, offer her a ring?" She asked out loud, already knowing what his answer would be.

"Would that be so bad?" He responded defensively, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah. Do you really not realize that you only want her so bad because you want a wife? This has nothing to do with who she really was, Derek. You know that. You're smarter than this."

"No, I don't know that, and you're really not helping. Just because you're single, that doesn't mean I can't try to be happy." Derek snapped, frustrated. Penelope sat stunned for a moment, feeling as if she had been doused in cold water. Had he really just implied that she was lonely... bitter?!

"OK." She said quietly, her voice breaking. "Since I'm no longer of assistance, and it's getting late, I think I'm just gonna head home." She was out of her seat before he could react, had retrieved her keys from her purse, and was on her way out of the front door before he even caught up to her. Ignoring his pleading calls, Penelope climbed into her car and drove away, wiping tears from her eyes. She couldn't believe he had said something like that to her. Especially when he knew the hell she had gone through during her breakup with Kevin last year. He knew her confidence had been shot, knew she was still incredibly sensitive about it. She could admit that she had been a little tough on him about getting back with Jamie, but Derek had crossed a line, in a major way.

Penelope'd had plenty of opportunity for new relationships, even been on a few dates, that had gone well. But they weren't who she wanted. They weren't Derek. So for him, of all people, to say such a thing to her, when really, HE was the reason she was single. Penelope was livid! But more than that...she was incredibly hurt.


	2. Chapter 2

**I still don't own any part of the Criminal Minds series, just an obsessed fan!**

"P... are you gonna talk to me at some point?" Derek asked, standing in the doorway of her office. After their unfortunate exchange at the barbecue, Penelope had ignored his calls for the rest of the weekend, and hadn't spoken a non work related word to him since they'd returned to the office. The rest of the team had surely noticed the lack of their usual playful banter, but they had gotten used to the hot/cold between them lately. For years, Derek and Penelope had been inseparable, always enjoying each others company. But recently, things were just... different. And Derek had no idea why.

It just seemed like they were always at odds with each other about something. A few weeks ago, she had picked a fight with him for flirting with a pretty barista at their favorite coffee place, accusing him of being, in her words a "man-whore". For innocent flirting! Derek wasn't even into casual dating and sex like that anymore, and Penelope knee that. They hadn't spoken for a few days after that incident, but they had finally been on a good track for a while, until their little tiff after the party. Derek missed her though... the way things used to be. And he was eager to get that back. "You know you can't just keep ignoring me, right?" He stepped in, closing the door for privacy.

"Oh, I can't?" Penelope asked, not looking up from her computer screen. "It's actually working pretty well for me right now, so I think I'm just gonna ride it out."

"Really, Baby Girl? I've apologized for what I said to you. And you know I mean that. I don't understand what you want me to do. But I'll do whatever you need me to do." He said, spinning her chair around so that she was forced to face him. Placing a hand on each arm of the chair for balance, he lowered himself until he could look right into her eyes. "Tell me, P. Tell me what to do." Derek pleaded. He could clearly see the hurt in her eyes, and it pained him to know that he had been the one to cause it.

"What you said was really mean, Derek." Penelope said, averting her now wet eyes. "I thought we were friends. How could you say something like that me? You had to know that would hurt..."

"I know, sweetheart. And I'm sorry. So sorry. I really didn't even mean it the way it came out, it was just the heat of the moment. I'm sorry. Truly. I should have chosen my words more carefully."

"Yeah, you should have... but I was coming on a little strong myself." She admitted. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"You were coming a little hard, but it didn't make it OK to say something like that to you. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you Baby Girl."

"Strip down to your boxers, and grovel at my feet." Penelope said, tossing her hair over her shoulder before turning away from him. Derek smiled. He could see the laughter playing at the corners of her mouth, and knew that he had succeeded in breaking the ice between them.

"You're always trying to get me naked, I'm gonna take you up on that one of these days."

"Oh, I'm counting on it Hot Stuff!" Penelope replied with a sexy grin that sent a tingle down Derek's spine. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, the door to Penelope's office swung open, revealing Kevin, Penelope's coworker and ex, on the other side.

"Um, don't you know how to knock?" Penelope asked, her annoyance obvious in her voice.

"I didn't realize I would be interrupting something." Kevin said, shooting Derek a dirty look as he walked into the office. "I assumed you would be working, but obviously, that assumption was wrong."

"Look, Lynch," Derek said as he stood, referring to Kevin by his last name. "Don't make me kick your ass, OK?"

"Is that a threat, Agent Morgan?" Kevin sputtered, taking a step back.

"Not at all, man, it's a request. Please, don't make me kick your ass. Do you see? Now show Agent Garcia some respect." Derek responded, his fists clenching involuntarily.

"What do you want Kevin?" Penelope interjected. "Because I AM working, and you ARE interrupting something."

"I just wanted to make sure you knew how to use the new computer interface." He replied with a smug look on his face, obviously proud of his act of faux chivalry.

"Uh, Kevin, you do realize that I'm like, a Tech Goddess, right?" Penelope asked, rolling her eyes. "I certainly don't need help with anything related to a computer, especially not yours. So you can go now." She finished dismissively, waving her hand in a "shoo"motion for effect.

"Are you kicking me out of your office?" Kevin asked, shocked.

"Yes, Kevin, I am. Are you waiting for me to physically push you out? Do I need to do that?" Penelope said, standing up from her chair.

"No!" He said, glancing over at Derek, and then down at his still clenched fists. "Fine then. I'll go find someone who'll be grateful for my help." He snapped as he stomped away, leaving the door open.

"Good luck with that! " Penelope called after him, closing the door behind him, and locking it.

Derek was incredibly pleased with how she was handling Kevin. He had watched her regain a ton of lost confidence after their breakup, and it hadn't been easy. Derek had spent many nights consoling Penelope, in person and over the phone, after nasty encounters with him. Kevin was an exhaustingly petty man, always making derogatory comments about Penelope's weight, her clothes, her single status. More than once, Penelope'd had to talk Derek down from just kicking his ass. Not that Kevin didn't deserve it. Unsurprisingly, shortly after Penelope had lost weight, he began nosing around, suddenly being nice, always staring, making sexual comments. But Garcia had shut that down herself. She didn't need him trying to get back into her good graces just because she had lost a few pounds. The idea was to upgrade, not go backwards.

Derek would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that even he found Penelope more attractive now. It really didn't have much to do with the new body. Even though it was indeed incredible, he'd always been attracted to her body. It was the newfound confidence that sent him over the edge. He could tell that she felt attractive, sexy, and it just seemed to ooze out of her. Even today, in her rather conservative knee-length wrap dress, all Derek wanted to do was bury his face in her-

"Where were we Hot Stuff?" Penelope asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"We were discussing getting naked..." He said, playfully grabbing the belt had held her dress closed, pulling her closer to him.

"Ohhhh, so you're really gonna do that striptease thing for me huh?" She replied, laughing.

"Why don't you come by tonight, we'll watch some movies... And afterwards we'll see." Derek said.

"You've got yourself a deal, handsome. I will see you tonight!"


	3. Chapter 3

Derek glanced at the clock as the loud chime of the doorbell rang out through the air, letting him know that someone was at the door. Smiling, he made his way to the door, placing two glasses and the bottle of pinot he had been chilling just for Penelope on the coffee table as he passed it. He had all of her favorite movies, popcorn, everything he could think of to make her happy. Derek hoped that this night would help bring their friendship back to where it used to be, before... whatever had caused this rift between them.

Derek flung the door open dramatically. "My baby gi-..." He stopped raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"Hi, Derek."Jamie said, accompanying the words with a small smile that brought her dimples to the surface of her mocha colored skin. Derek had always been a sucker for those dimples.

"Um...hey... what are you doing here?" He asked, still a bit stunned at seeing her at his door, unannounced.

"Well... I was hoping we could maybe talk..." She replied with a slight tilt of her head, causing her neatly loc'd hair to swing to one side. Derek found himself with a sudden urge to run his hands through her hair, something he had always done when they were fighting. It seemed to calm both of them, just that simple act of physical touch. He would pull her close, kiss her. They would make love. And afterwards... it was always OK. But they didn't have that now. She wasn't his anymore.

"Talk about what?" He inquired, crossing his strong arms over his chest.

"The way we... left things. I really feel like there were things left unsaid, and I... Do we have to have this conversation in the doorway?"

"Oh, sorry. Uh.. Come in I guess..." Derek said, stepping to the side so she could come in.

"Were you expecting someone?" Jamie asked, motioning towards the bottle of wine on the coffee table.

"Yeah, actually, I was." He replied firmly, not offering any additional information.

"A date?"

"If it is?"

"Well... I guess.. that's fine, I mean... you're a single man Derek. You can... do what you want." Jamie said, clearing her throat as she sat down on the couch. Derek could sense a change in the air as the tension grew thicker around them. Jamie was visibly uncomfortable, looking at her hands, the ceiling, anywhere but at him.

"So..." Derek started, drawing her attention towards him. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah... I uh...well... Derek, you know we aren't exactly young anymore, right?"

"Speak for yourself." Derek joked, hoping to break some of the tension.

"Stop playing Derek."Jamie responded with a light chuckle. "I'm serious. I miss you, Derek, and I just really worry that I may have made a mistake by ending our relationship... is that crazy?"

"I don't think it's crazy at all... I wonder the same thing myself sometimes. But really Jamie... do you miss me.. Or do you miss being in a relationship? Cause there's a difference. And the last thing we should be doing is wasting time if we aren't even really into each other that much anymore. Like you said... We aren't exactly young, so that makes it even more important that we're investing our time wisely." Derek said honestly. Just as he opened his mouth to speak again, the doorbell once again chimed through the air. He cursed under his breath as he remembered his movie date with Penelope. She had never really been too fond of Jamie for some reason, but she had always been friendly to her. At least, until Derek and Jamie broke up. Penelope didn't take kindly at all to people hurting any of her friends, but Derek knew that she held a particular disgust for Jamie. Knowing that there was no use in delaying the inevitable, he asked Jamie to excuse him as he went to answer the door.

"Hi handsome!" Penelope chirped as soon as she saw him, her bubbly demeanor immediately brightening his mood. She was dressed for comfort, in a fitted tee shirt and yoga pants, hair pulled into a high ponytail, yet somehow she still looked incredibly sexy.

"Ahhh, just the gorgeous goddess I needed to see." He said, pulling her into his arms. He felt her soft body relax into his, as if the hug was draining her of all the negative of the day. Nuzzling his face against her head, he inhaled the sweet scent of her hair, content to just hold her like that for the test of the night. Suddenly, he felt her body stiffen, and then she pulled away, looking at something just over his shoulder.

"So... I guess this is why you don't seem that interested in reconciliation?"

Derek turned to see Jamie standing there, biting her bottom lip as if she were willing herself not to cry. "Jamie, no... Penelope and I aren't l-"

"Don't even bother Derek. There's always been something between the two of you. Even when we were dating, you could barely keep your hands off of each other, always flirting. I knew you would go right to her."

"Jamie, really, it's not even like that with me and P."

"Are you really gonna stand here in my face and try to tell me you don't have feelings for her?" Jamie asked, not taking her eyes off of his. Derek opened his mouth to speak, but... he couldn't honestly deny what she was saying.

"That's what I thought."Jamie said bitterly, shaking her head. Without another word, she brushed past Derek and left, slamming the door behind her.


End file.
